Two summers ago, I wandered down to St Kilda Peir to look for little penguins. What I saw, instead, was a flock of sun-baking, speedo-wearing leathery old men (SBSWLOM) sitting on the rocks. I quickly turned around and walked (ran?) back to shore, hopped onto a city-bound 96 tram and decided never to look for penguins during the day. The vision had pierced myretinas and became forever emblazened in my mind (one of the blokes, from memory, even had a nasty white crusty stain on the front of his speedo...not a good look).
Well...imagine my surprise and trepedation when I read on the Age news website about council's plans to introduce an artificial beach for the summer somewhere along the banks of the Yarra. Evidently, the council was inspired by the success and popularity of a similar beach created along the Seine in Paris every summer. I was in Paris two years ago and, in my opinion, an artificial beach along the Yarra is most definitely NOT a good idea. Not only will it bring flocks of SBSWLOM to the city but also their leathery old wives (the Parisian wives, as I had unfortunately discovered, liked to sunbake topless). And what about the Yarra itself? Who in their right mind would venture into that river? I think it will be a lose-lose situation all round.
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