Thursday, September 17, 2009

A different perspective

A friend from Sydney was in town and she introduced Nathan and me to one of her dearest friends, a remarkable 66 year old gay man who lived in Fitzroy. He invited us to his home yesterday afternoon for tea. I had such a great time that I ended up dragging Nathan over again today. R is a man who is immensely proud of his two sons. One is an architect; the other owns his own business. R shows us old photos and recounts early memories of his two boys. When he is speaking about his kids, R's eyes sparkle. Unfortunately, these memories are all that he has at the moment because R's sons are no longer speaking to their father. In fact, they haven't spoken to him for 14 years; not since R came out to his family. What a tragedy.

5 comments:

Andrew said...

Sad indeed, but who knows where the blame lies. Surely not just because the father expressed his attraction to the same sex? Or maybe it is?

Adaptive Radiation said...

Perhaps it's the feeling of betrayal. The interesting thing is that the ex knew what her husband was up to and, to a degree, even sanctioned it but everything fell apart when he decided to leave the family for a guy.

more generally, the stories of what married men got up to (especially of this guy's generation) was a real eye opener to me.

The Mutant said...

That is sad to hear - who knows what drives some people to behave like that?

mm said...

You're prob right about the sense of betrayal AR. There are many couples where one side turns a blind eye to the indiscretions of the other....this isn't really all that different to a husband/wife having an affair. There's also the people who get married to their work. I think that as long as they stay as a family unit, that works for some.

I have run into a couple of married family men who sometimes allow their inner desires to get the better of them. It came as a shock because I didn't expect a married man with kids to be gay. All is not as it seems - even for guys younger than the man you met as many people still live a double life but I guess that is decreasing as being gay is much less of an issue now as it was a decade and more before.

Evol Kween said...

This is so sad. My partner has children from a previous life. Thankfully they have no problem with his sexuality, and get along with me just fine.