My friend is going through relationship uncertainty at the moment. Actually, it's not her. It's her boyfriend. He doesn't seem to know what he wants and is questioning the relationship. Sadly for my friend, this is the second time it's happened (the last one brought an 8 year relationship to an end). I don't quite understand it. She is one of the nicest people you can possibly meet. Even her ex says so (the one who ended the 8 year relationship). He said to me recently "You are nice but T is REALLY nice". Yeah? Then why did you dump her you idiot? Perhaps she is too nice. Can someone be too nice?
The whole thing about questioning the relationship seems to stem from an unrealistic obsession with finding THE ONE. Some people, of course, convince themselves that they have found such a person...and then start to question it when someone BETTER comes along. People study this phenomenon in animals. It's true. They've even given it a name. It's called the trading up hypothesis. I'd like to think that we are smarter in the way we view potential mating partners compared to, say, a guppy or a cricket but maybe, at the end of the day, we are all the same.
1 comment:
Hopefully someone will come along and appreciate your friend as the nice person she is.
I think the trouble with those people who either don't know what they want or always looking for the "next model up" is that they can never really be truly happy as they can't appreciate what they've got.
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