Saturday, July 30, 2011

The bearded lady

I was at an art exhibition opening recently. One of the artists, an elderly aboriginal woman, had a beard (well, a goatee). She was completely un-selfconscious about it, which was great for her. And the admirers of her paintings certainly didn't care either.

Later, I was talking to a gallery friend of mine. I made the observation that a lot of elderly aboriginal women I've met seem to have facial hair. My friend – a caucasian girl – assured me that elderly caucasian women get facial hair too. As someone of Asian descent, this was a complete revelation to me (even though, as a biologist, I should know better).

"Really?", I asked.

"Yeah", she said. "That's what I'll be looking forward to when I get older. I'm going to start saving up money well before then to get laser treatment."

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Go Wendi...

Important lesson: Never mess with a guy who is married to a chinese woman.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

A night out

One of my friends just came back to Oz after a month back in Central America visiting friends an family. I decided to take her to the Greyhound Hotel. It was the first time I had been there this year and I had not seen the completed renovations. Both Nathan and I were gobsmacked. The venue looked amazing. I must say though that I do miss the somewhat shabby, run down GH of had character. friend was having a good time on the dance floor until she had a slight altercation with a guy. You know the kind...they dance as if they owned the dance floor and are inconsiderate of other people's space. The guy in question stepped on my friend a couple of times and kept jabbing her in the back so she politely pointed this out to him. He said something offensive. My friend (God bless her little Mexican heart), said something back (about the size of his arse from what I was later told). He then danced right up against her, rubbing his crotch against her and then punched her (lightly) in the arm. The security guard then intervened and escorted the guy away....and we resumed our dancing. My friend had earlier been lamenting about the lack of straight guys at the club. I told her later that at least she got some crotch action regardless.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Currently reading...

I bought myself a novel during the week. It is a classic, The Lost World by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. It was first published in 1912 and I had never read it.

But the real reason why I bought it was for the cover. It's a 3D cover that even comes with its own 3D glasses. How cool is that?

Life games

Ever get the sense that you're in a real-life video game sometimes? It happened to me yesterday.

My mission was to get from South Yarra back to my apartment (I may or may not have bought yet another painting).

The first 'level' I had to successfully negotiate was to walk from the gallery to the South Yarra train station. I had to battle strong winds and pedestrians, then fumble through my wallet for my met ticket in order to get past the stupid barrier at the station entrance.

After completing the first stage, I then had to survive the train trip itself. Here, I first had to dodge an old indian woman who tried to use my painting to steady herself as she was making her way through the carriage. I then had to get out of my seat to prevent the three snotty little toddlers who sat opposite me from putting their grimy little toddler fingers on my painting. Whilst standing, I had to watch out for the man with the extra wide pram (yes, the painting IS worth more than both your pram - and probably your kids too), the two teenagers and their bikes, and the woman who launched herself into the carriage at the last minute by prising open the door when the tram was moving. I survived all those obstacles.

The journey from the train station to the apartment was a breeze by comparison. More wind (including unpredictable cross winds over Collins Street), construction work, and the elevator (the painting suffered a slight knock but nothing too serious), and then inside the apartment where the treasure was carefully freed from the bubble wrap with my magical sword (i.e. a steak knife).

Mission complete.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Awkward conversations I've had with white people

I decided to share some awkward race-related conversations I've had with people after reading this post from fellow blogger, High Riser.

Awkward Conversation # 1 (during a hospital visit):

Nurse (looking at me and my shaved head): "Are you a monk?"
Me: ", I'm catholic".

Awkward conversation # 2 (at friend's engagement party):

My friend's future father-in-law (a South African): "Look , it's not the black people's fault that they are not as intelligent as us. They just haven't had the same opportunities. I don't have an problems with black people....but I just wouldn't want my daughter to marry one" [good thing my friend is a red-head then].

Awkward conversation # 3 (in North Queensland asking farmer's permission to carry out research on their property)"

Farmer 1 (asking me): "So can you eat these fish?"
Farmer2 (answering on my behalf): "The japanese will eat anything" [thanks love but I'm not Japanese].

Awkward conversation # 4 (at the gym talking to the friend of a friend when I was still at Uni)"

Friend of a friend: "So...Are you flying back home for the semester break?"
Me: (looking perplexed)
Friend of a friend: "You're an international student right?" [WRONG]