Friday, January 29, 2010

Unforgettable toilet experiences

My uncle has been in town for work. Last night, after dinner, I took him up to the Sofitel for drinks. The toilets on the 35th floor are a major tourist attraction. Seriously. It has one of the best (free) views of the city, with floor to ceiling windows overlooking Melbourne Park and the suburbs beyond. So that was the real reason why I took him up there...for the view of the city (the drinks were just an excuse). The Sofitel loos, I dare say, are the most beautiful toilet I've ever seen. Afterwards, it got me thinking. What are some of my other unforgettable toilet experiences? I've compiled a list:

1. Most fancy. This one goes to the 5-star hotel I went to in Hong Kong (can't remember the name). I was suffering from a severe case of food poisoning (I literally shat my way across the island). What made this toilet experience my most fancy was the fact that there was a toilet attendant stationed at the wash basin to help you dry your hands.

2. Most embarrassing. There are some things that your boss should never be permitted to do for you. Unclogging the toilet after you've been to the loo falls into that category. I blame Mexico, with their weak sewer pipes which are not capable of handling toilet paper being flushed down the bowl. We were at a ranch in a remote village. I had just finished my business, went to flush and, to my horror, the water level and the contents in the bowl started to rise. Fortunately there was no spill over (unlike that time in Argentina when I was'd think I'd learn from my latin american toilet experiences). I quickly told my boss. Before I could stop him, he calmly took a clothes hanger from the closet and proceeded towards the toilet saying "Dont worry. I know what to do." He never managed to unclog the loo (that was left to the owner of the ranch) but I appreciated the effort nonetheless.

3. Most bizarre. Incinerator toilet in Finland. I don't understand the logic of doing your business down a fiery pit. Seems very risky to me.

4. Most frugal. I can understand why, in some third world countries, people are charged when they want to go to use a toilet in a public space. But one thing I don't understand is how anybody can be expected to get by with 4 squares of toilet paper. That's how many I was given after paying my pesos for the privelege of using a toilet in Mexico (a different one to the one I had earlier flooded). And what is it with Mexican toilets? There are never any toilet seats on top of the bowls! I was instantly faced with having to make one of those difficult decisions. Use my 4 squares to clean the bowl before I sit down or to save the paper for use 'afterwards'. I opted for the latter, but it was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make in my life.


FletcherBeaver said...

Wow! That flooded my mind - no pun intended - with all sorts of toilet memories of many different countries that I haven't thought about in ages. Cool.
Must mean I need to take a trip OS.

Victor said...

I think I'll give Mexico a miss now. :-)

Clearly the four leaves limit in Mexico is one consequence of the pipes problem you revealed earlier!