A most forgettable day

I have a bout of the squirts so have been confined to bed all day. I'm staying hydrated with plenty of energy drinks and trying my best not to shit myself. Other than that, I just have to let it run its course. I suspect it was the salmon salad I had in Lund before I left. Food poisoning is a real pain in the butt (literally...it is seriously hurting down there from the coarse toilet paper). I think I'll be ok though (so don't worry mum). It seems that it wasn't only me that had a shit day. My travelling buddy went out in the afternoon and was pick-pocketted.