Made a spontaneous trip to Inverloch on Thursday evening with Nate to visit his grandmother. We headed there with his mum after work and were stuck in peak hour traffic heading out of the city. Eventually, after what seemed like forever, we made it to Inverloch. It was the first time I had met Nate's grandmother but I've heard a lot about her. She's a fiery one. I'd pity anybody brave enough to take her on. Fortunately, we got a long very well. Granny (and she's kill me if I called her that to her face) is a brilliant cook and kept us well fed. Her cheese scones are to absolutely die. It was sad to leave her (and her cooking) to get back to Melbourne this arvo.
One thing that really struck me about Nate's grandmother was just how deeply she was still morning the loss of her husband in September last year. The slightest memory would trigger her off. I guess she is still very much grieving for the love of her life. It's beautiful but very touching at the same time.
Off to Sydney next Monday for a week of rest, socialising, and mardi gras. Can't wait!
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
The human mating system
Nate and I had brunch with one of my (straight) work mates on Saturday. He had gone out the night before with two of his other gay friends (a married couple) and was slightly disillusioned when he found out that this couple had an open relationship. I must admit that I was a little surprised also; Nate, less so. This got me thinking...why are humans monogamous and is there a difference between straight and gay couples?
Monogamy is quite rare in nature. In fact, thanks to DNA finger printing, we are beginning to realise that many so called 'monogamous' species partake in sneaking extra pair copulations on the side.
In some animals, like seahorses, pairs remain monogamous because the cost of partner switching is quite high.
Some evolutionary psychologists suggest that our monogamous mating system is quite recent and that our evolutionary ancestors were promiscuous. Compared to other great apes, the size of our testes and penises are large for a species with a monogamous mating system.
Sexual conflict is rife throughout the animal kingdom as each sex tries to maximise it's own reproductive success. Here, it is not uncommon for each sex to wish monogamy on its mating partner whilst engaging in promiscuity for themselves.
So...I wonder if open relationships are more common in same-sex relationships because there is less of a sexual conflict.
Monogamy is quite rare in nature. In fact, thanks to DNA finger printing, we are beginning to realise that many so called 'monogamous' species partake in sneaking extra pair copulations on the side.
In some animals, like seahorses, pairs remain monogamous because the cost of partner switching is quite high.
Some evolutionary psychologists suggest that our monogamous mating system is quite recent and that our evolutionary ancestors were promiscuous. Compared to other great apes, the size of our testes and penises are large for a species with a monogamous mating system.
Sexual conflict is rife throughout the animal kingdom as each sex tries to maximise it's own reproductive success. Here, it is not uncommon for each sex to wish monogamy on its mating partner whilst engaging in promiscuity for themselves.
So...I wonder if open relationships are more common in same-sex relationships because there is less of a sexual conflict.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Airport Angst
I travel quite a bit with my job and I've missed my fair share of flights but I've never reacted like this woman...
My top 3 list of bad airport/airline experiences:
1. Sao Paulo to New York (American Airlines). Missed my connection due to delays flying from a conference in another Brazilian city. Rushing between gates was not helped by the fact that I was carting a 1m long fiberglass fish that I had bought at a flea market. Was eventually placed on the next flight to New York and was fortunate enough to score two seats...one for me and one for the fish.
2. Singapore to Sydney (Qantas). This was caused by a delay in Finland, resulting in a missed connection. The flight from Helsinki was the scariest flying experience I've ever had....the plane accelerated on the runway then braked suddenly. My immediate thought was that we were going to hit another plane but apparently it was due to a warning light in the cockpit. The plane was fine but we had to wait two hours for the engineers which meant I missed my flight from Singapore to Sydney.
3. LA to Sydney (Qantas). The flight crew were involved in a car accident on the way to the airport. They weren't allowed to fly and so we had to wait for replacement crew.
My top 3 list of bad airport/airline experiences:
1. Sao Paulo to New York (American Airlines). Missed my connection due to delays flying from a conference in another Brazilian city. Rushing between gates was not helped by the fact that I was carting a 1m long fiberglass fish that I had bought at a flea market. Was eventually placed on the next flight to New York and was fortunate enough to score two seats...one for me and one for the fish.
2. Singapore to Sydney (Qantas). This was caused by a delay in Finland, resulting in a missed connection. The flight from Helsinki was the scariest flying experience I've ever had....the plane accelerated on the runway then braked suddenly. My immediate thought was that we were going to hit another plane but apparently it was due to a warning light in the cockpit. The plane was fine but we had to wait two hours for the engineers which meant I missed my flight from Singapore to Sydney.
3. LA to Sydney (Qantas). The flight crew were involved in a car accident on the way to the airport. They weren't allowed to fly and so we had to wait for replacement crew.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Welcome to Oz!
I was expecting to see my new PhD student yesterday who was flying in from overseas. I get a message from him in the afternoon apologising that he won't be able to meet me. I give him a call on his mobile. He tells me that he was on his way to Gippsland. GIPPSLAND. WTF? Either he made a huge mistake in arranging his temporary accommodation or the University screwed it up. Apart from the obvious distance between where he is living and where he is meant to be working, there is also the not so trivial issue of bushfires in the area. First day in Oz and he has gone out to the site of Australia's worst natural disaster. What a welcome.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Darwin's dinner and a conversation about death
Yesterday was the 200 anniversary commemorating the birth of Charles Darwin. The museum here in Melbourne put on a very nice cocktail dinner and I was lucky enough to secure a free ticket to the event. The dinner reflected the theme of evolution and we grazed our way through the evolutionary tree with such delights as primordial soup (which tasted a lot like seafood bisque), crocodile skewers, and 'dinosaur' drumettes. The dinner culminated in a huge chocolate fountain (which was meant to resemble the lava flow following the meteor impact that killed off the dinosaurs). It was hugely entertaining. Apart from the food, we also got to go to the imax theatre and watch a documentary on the dinosaurs of Patagonia. The doco was in 3D and, although memerizing, left me feeling a bit queezy. There was even a circus performance aimed at teaching evolution to 3 year olds. With a great deal of artistic licence (and a whole heap of acrobatics, dancing and singing), the audience learnt how fish evolved into lizards and then into birds.
The razzle and dazzle aside, I had the opportunity to speak to a colleague whom I deeply admire and respect. He was down in Melbourne to attend an associated conference. The colleague lost his son less than two years ago and we spent an hour talking about all the motions that follow on from the tragedy. The nice thing about the scientific community in which I work is that it's a relatively close knit group and the impact of the death resonated across the country. But suicide is a difficult issue to grapple with and more so when the reasons are not clear. The manner in which outsiders deal with the situation can also be varied and, at times, frustrating for the family and friends that are left behind. It was nice to know that the colleague had received my card and it was even nicer to know that the message meant something to him and his family. What do you write on a condolence card under such circumstances? I remembered going to the newsagent, picking out the card, and turning to google for advice. After mulling over the message for a long time, I wrote it. Minutes later I tore it up and went back to the newsagent and bought another blank card. The second time round, I wrote the message I wanted to write. I cant remember exactly what I wrote now but my colleague said that it was one of a handful that really spoke to the family. These were cards, according to him, written by people who had either gone through similar loss or otherwise showed evidence of having gone through some kind of struggle. It was not conscious at the time, but I guess my struggle was my sexuality. Mind you, when I was still trying to grapple with it, I never thought of suicide (though, at times, I was incredibly sad). What I did come to realise though (and I think this was what may have come through in my message) was that, for a long time, I had hoped my parents had understood me enough to simply know that aspect about me without having to deal with the task of actually sitting them down and telling them. But gradually, I began to realise that perhaps kids misunderstand their parents too and the failure to open up to them for fear of how they might react is a barrier that is formidable but not necessarily real. I shared this thought with my colleague. His eyes welled up and we gave each other a hug.
The razzle and dazzle aside, I had the opportunity to speak to a colleague whom I deeply admire and respect. He was down in Melbourne to attend an associated conference. The colleague lost his son less than two years ago and we spent an hour talking about all the motions that follow on from the tragedy. The nice thing about the scientific community in which I work is that it's a relatively close knit group and the impact of the death resonated across the country. But suicide is a difficult issue to grapple with and more so when the reasons are not clear. The manner in which outsiders deal with the situation can also be varied and, at times, frustrating for the family and friends that are left behind. It was nice to know that the colleague had received my card and it was even nicer to know that the message meant something to him and his family. What do you write on a condolence card under such circumstances? I remembered going to the newsagent, picking out the card, and turning to google for advice. After mulling over the message for a long time, I wrote it. Minutes later I tore it up and went back to the newsagent and bought another blank card. The second time round, I wrote the message I wanted to write. I cant remember exactly what I wrote now but my colleague said that it was one of a handful that really spoke to the family. These were cards, according to him, written by people who had either gone through similar loss or otherwise showed evidence of having gone through some kind of struggle. It was not conscious at the time, but I guess my struggle was my sexuality. Mind you, when I was still trying to grapple with it, I never thought of suicide (though, at times, I was incredibly sad). What I did come to realise though (and I think this was what may have come through in my message) was that, for a long time, I had hoped my parents had understood me enough to simply know that aspect about me without having to deal with the task of actually sitting them down and telling them. But gradually, I began to realise that perhaps kids misunderstand their parents too and the failure to open up to them for fear of how they might react is a barrier that is formidable but not necessarily real. I shared this thought with my colleague. His eyes welled up and we gave each other a hug.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Sam vs Milk
Went and saw "Milk" the other night. I thought it was a really good movie but I have a quibble...Sean Penn's portrayal of Harvey Milk. For the most part, I thought it was great but there were moments in the film when I swear Penn was channeling the character he played in "I am Sam". On the one hand we have a gay activist and on the other, a retarded man fighting for custody of his child. You couldn't ask for more different characters but still, during some of the early parts of the film, Sam and Harvey merged into one.
Monday, February 9, 2009
The fires
The Victorian bushfires are dominating the news coverage at the moment. Living in metropolitan Melbourne, it's hard to imagine the carnage taking place elsewhere since there were no signs of smoke in the actual city itself. Only heat and wind. Incredible wind.
The feeling of disconnection is such a contrast to my experience of the Canberra fires a few years ago. I still remember driving home in the afternoon after spending the morning with a couple of Belgian friends. The sky grew darker and darker as I headed south. There was a red glow in the horizon and ash was raining down everywhere. We were several kilometers away from the fire front but it was still scary. With the Victorian fires, I see the footage and I hear the stories but it still seems a million miles away.
The feeling of disconnection is such a contrast to my experience of the Canberra fires a few years ago. I still remember driving home in the afternoon after spending the morning with a couple of Belgian friends. The sky grew darker and darker as I headed south. There was a red glow in the horizon and ash was raining down everywhere. We were several kilometers away from the fire front but it was still scary. With the Victorian fires, I see the footage and I hear the stories but it still seems a million miles away.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Riding the sushi train
I got back into the city quite late last night and wasn't really in the mood for cooking so I made Nathan meet me at Flinder's Street Station and we headed off to a sushi place on Swanston street. the place we went is one of those sushi train restaurants where you sit at a big communal table and pick out the plates of sushi moving past you along a conveyor belt system.
There are two things that one needs to be careful about at these kinds of sushi establishments. First, one should mindful of the possible risk of food poisoning, as you never really can tell just how long a bit of raw fish might have been circulating on the conveyor belt. Second, there is the danger of overeating. Fortunately, I can say that neither Nathan nor I got sick from last night's meal. However, we did end up paying an arm and a leg because we (well, mostly me) got greedy and just kept eating and eating and eating. You know you've eaten an impressive amount when the chef decides to offer you complimentary dessert. If I'm going to fork out $82 for sushi next time, I think I'd rather fork it out at a more fancy Japanese restaurant.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
Pride 2009
Went to the pride march yesterday afternoon. It seemed a lot better than the previous couple I've been to. There were people everywhere and the atmosphere was great. Was having an interesting conversation with a guy who reckons that the Melbourne gay community can be a bit superficial. I don't really have much of a point of reference but can certainly see how he may have developed such an opinion. I didn't really see it yesterday though...all I saw was joy.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Gursky, sushi and the brain scooper
To try and escape the heat yesterday, Nathan and I visited the National Gellery of Victoria to check out the photographic exhibition of Andreas Gursky. Wow! His giant photos are absolutely mind blowing. Gursky, a German photographer, holds the record for the highest price paid for a photographic work by a living artist. It's easy to see why. I must admit I haven't really been into photography all that much but this exhibition gave me a whole new appreciation of the artform.
Afterwards, we wandered back to Flinder's Street and caught a tram to a second hand furniture shop on Swan Street where I picked up this nice little marble-topped side table for the balcony. It's called the 'trace' and is manufactured by Naughtone... A cute litle piece of British design for outside. Can't wait for Melbourne to get cool enough (but not so cool) so we can sit outside and sip cold drinks in the evenings.
The table wasn't the only thing I bought. The last time I was at the shop, I saw an unusual long wooden implement from PNG with the image of a man carved on top and four sharp prongs on the bottom. This time, I saw it again and asked the shop manager what it was. Evidently, it's a tool used by headhunters for scooping out brains. It now sits on top of my fridge (Might come in handy one day).
Caught up with some friends for dinner. Finally was introduced to a really nice Japanese restaurant in Melbourne actually owned and operated by Japanese people. The sushi was fantastic and so was the conversations at the table. I spent most of the evening talking to a pair of criminologists (I had a niggling feeling that the guy was profiling me the whole time).
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Dicing with death
I read on The Age website last night about a recent spike in people getting poisoned after eating fugu (japanese puffer fish). Apparently a dodgy restaurant was serving up the delicacy without preparing it properly. Made me think back to the time our family went to visit my sister in Japan who was working there at the time. We went to a market place and ordered fugu sashimi from a street vendor. Everyone was a bit reticent to try it but we survived the experience (frankly, I thought it was a little overrated...quite tasteless). We subsequently got to sample it a second time in a restaurant (deep fried). Nothing. No tingling of the lips. No heart palpatations. No seizures. I though the whole 'toxic thing' was blown out of proportion; an exaggeration. We even saw fugu for sale in a supermarket in Japan. Now surely, if it takes years of training to prepare, they couldn't possibly be offering it as standard supermarket fare (I imagined meek japanese housewives expertly carving away the poisonous organs before serving fugu to their families). But last night, I read a somewhat unsettling statistic ... every year, 3 people, on average, still die from eating fugu. Sure, it's not a huge number (more people die from alcohol-related incidents) but it does make you wonder.
In case anyone is curious, this is the proper way to prepare it...
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Australia Day/Chinese New Year
It was not the most spectacular Australia Day/Chinese New Year for me but it did end reasonably well. I spent most of yesterday morning working away on my grant proposal. By the afternoon, I had had enough and caught the tram out to meet Nate. We ended up going to one of his former work colleague's place for dinner. The colleague is originally from the Phillipines. The husband was hit by a car many years ago and suffered a stroke. Wife managed to bring up the kids who were all fantastically warm and chatty. I ended up eating way too much and got given a bunch more food to take home. Will be browsing on leftovers tonight!
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Saving up for a play station
Last night, Nate and I took his sister and his niece to Crown. Niece wanted to go to the Galactic Circus which is basically a giant amusement park with games for kids to play. Prizes depend on the accumulation of tokens won whilst playing. Niece wants a play station. After winning 1000 tokens she still has about 59000 to go.
We went to see the movies afterwards. Saw "Bride Wars". Two words: chick flick. Still, it was quite entertaining and I managed to enjoy my evening despite work craziness niggling on my mind.
We went to see the movies afterwards. Saw "Bride Wars". Two words: chick flick. Still, it was quite entertaining and I managed to enjoy my evening despite work craziness niggling on my mind.
The great cake debacle (update)
The cake was 'patched up' with white icing and a liberal sprinkling of shredded coconut. A strategically placed strawberry completed the transformation. Unfortunately the cake broke into two pieces but parents of the baby seem pleased by the gesture and it looks nowhere near as bad as when Nate took delivery of it on Friday morning. Disaster averted.
I attended the christening this morning. I was expecting the baby to scream her head off when splashed with holy water but this was not to be. She was remarkably well behaved.
I attended the christening this morning. I was expecting the baby to scream her head off when splashed with holy water but this was not to be. She was remarkably well behaved.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
The great cake debacle
Nate ordered a christening cake for his cousin's baby from the people that supply cakes for the bistro where he works. I came home yesterday and saw it sitting in the fridge. I burst into laughter. Nate almost bursts into tears.
The cake looked awful. Cut into the shape of a cruxifix, it was pasted with butter icing so thin you could actually see the parts where the cake had been joined together. On top of the cruxifix, scribbled with a line of chocolate, was the word 'baptism'. Nate evidently rang up the cake shop and swore at the owner and accused oompa-loompas of having made the cake.
We are going to try and 'salvage' the cake before sunday's christening. Could turn into an even bigger disaster. Stay tuned....
The cake looked awful. Cut into the shape of a cruxifix, it was pasted with butter icing so thin you could actually see the parts where the cake had been joined together. On top of the cruxifix, scribbled with a line of chocolate, was the word 'baptism'. Nate evidently rang up the cake shop and swore at the owner and accused oompa-loompas of having made the cake.
We are going to try and 'salvage' the cake before sunday's christening. Could turn into an even bigger disaster. Stay tuned....
Thursday, January 22, 2009
The trading up hypothesis
My friend is going through relationship uncertainty at the moment. Actually, it's not her. It's her boyfriend. He doesn't seem to know what he wants and is questioning the relationship. Sadly for my friend, this is the second time it's happened (the last one brought an 8 year relationship to an end). I don't quite understand it. She is one of the nicest people you can possibly meet. Even her ex says so (the one who ended the 8 year relationship). He said to me recently "You are nice but T is REALLY nice". Yeah? Then why did you dump her you idiot? Perhaps she is too nice. Can someone be too nice?
The whole thing about questioning the relationship seems to stem from an unrealistic obsession with finding THE ONE. Some people, of course, convince themselves that they have found such a person...and then start to question it when someone BETTER comes along. People study this phenomenon in animals. It's true. They've even given it a name. It's called the trading up hypothesis. I'd like to think that we are smarter in the way we view potential mating partners compared to, say, a guppy or a cricket but maybe, at the end of the day, we are all the same.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Raw comedy
Raw comedy was actually very good. Nate's cousin wasn't too bad (but that didn't stop me from feeling nervous for him the entire routine). Some of the other people were truly exceptional. I laughed so hard that my eyes started to water (that almost never happens to me). I was, however, a bit disappointed by a couple of hecklers who were knocking one of the guys for telling a gay joke. One girl shouted out "gay jokes aren't funny". She most certainly wasn't speaking for me.
The Local
Been flat out all week again. Apart from having to work on my stupid grant, I've also been running activities with a bunch of high school students at our uni. Am glad it's the weekend.
Last night, Nate and I headed off to a pub called The Local. We were meeting some friends there for drinks, one of whom was celebrating his birthday. We walked into the pub and noticed that none of our friends were there. The immediate thought was panic. Hmmm...maybe his email said 'HIS' local rather than 'The Local'. A quick call and the realisation that the pub had an upstairs section quickly took care of the initial self-doubt. Had a really good time. Met a girl from Canberra who is friends with somebody that I know etc etc (same old story...such a Canberra thing).
Afterwards, Nate, his cousin and I headed off to another birthday thing at PJ Obrien's on Southbank. The music was shit so I stayed for only a few minutes before coming home to bed. Anyhow...Nate returns home sometime later, stumbles into bed and apologises profusely for having met a couple of Australian idol contestants. His speech was a little slurred but evidently he was on the stage, conversations were had, 'love yous' were exchanged, and pictures were taken. I will interogate Nathan later when he wakes up and ask for evidence.
Heading off to see Nate's other cousin do stand up comedy later. I do hope he is funny.
Last night, Nate and I headed off to a pub called The Local. We were meeting some friends there for drinks, one of whom was celebrating his birthday. We walked into the pub and noticed that none of our friends were there. The immediate thought was panic. Hmmm...maybe his email said 'HIS' local rather than 'The Local'. A quick call and the realisation that the pub had an upstairs section quickly took care of the initial self-doubt. Had a really good time. Met a girl from Canberra who is friends with somebody that I know etc etc (same old story...such a Canberra thing).
Afterwards, Nate, his cousin and I headed off to another birthday thing at PJ Obrien's on Southbank. The music was shit so I stayed for only a few minutes before coming home to bed. Anyhow...Nate returns home sometime later, stumbles into bed and apologises profusely for having met a couple of Australian idol contestants. His speech was a little slurred but evidently he was on the stage, conversations were had, 'love yous' were exchanged, and pictures were taken. I will interogate Nathan later when he wakes up and ask for evidence.
Heading off to see Nate's other cousin do stand up comedy later. I do hope he is funny.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Australia
Finally went and saw Australia last night. I enjoyed it immensely for the entertainment value but I have a complaint. I always feel a bit uneasy about the way non-indigenous Australia tries to portray indigenous issues on the public stage. There is a tendency, I think, to overplay stereotypes (e.g. bearded aboriginal standing on one leg with spear in hand) and/or to depict injustices of the past in a way that is over-the-top (over-compensation?), condescending and superficial all at the same time. The stolen generations is a theme that runs deep in this movie. It's a pity that the treatment of it only scratches at the surface.
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